I do not struggle with forgiving past mistakes or wrongs against me.  Time eases the wound and I am usually able to forgive the person for whatever happened.  Its is when I am in the middle of the onslaught of dishonesty, betrayal and hurt that I struggle the most.

In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus tells us how many times we are to forgive.  Seven times seventy.  I’ll save you from doing the math – 490 times.   I am struggling with a huge  issue that will  probably exhaust at least half of that.  And there are already so many in the past.  What do I do when they have used up all the forgiveness I have to give?

I don’t expect to instantly forgive this person, especially for such an egregious offense.  I imagine it will come in time.  I am struggling with how in the world I will be able to be around this person until then.  An apology has not happened yet, even though the person is fully aware of the problem.   I don’t think I can do it.  I cannot imagine faking nice when I am seething on the inside.  Fake it ’til you make it just won’t work this time.

What Bible verses do you turn to when struggling with forgiveness?  Any words of wisdom for me?



Filed under Forgiveness

2 responses to “Forgiveness

  1. Samantha

    Just now saw this and I hate to see crickets chirping here. 🙂 You may be totally over this by now, but I thought I would leave some thoughts that may or may not be helpful, but it’s probably good for me to go through the process anyway. When I’m in the midst of the hurt and the pain, it is natural for me to gather that pain into myself and to sit on it and dwell on it and fully experience and soak in the pain. Wallow in my misery, if you will. I’m really good that this! LOL But the better choice for me is to cry out to God and tell him how much it hurts and how much I hate it and how unfair it is and then just release it to Him and allow His peace to wash over me. Then what I feel for that other person is disappointment and sadness. That is a lot easier to deal with than the pain and misery. At that point, I can begin to pray for the other person and that is very healing for my heart.

    I am not one who believes in walking up to someone and announcing I’ve forgiven them if they haven’t asked for my forgiveness. I had someone do that to me one time and I still to this day don’t know what she was forgiving. I had no idea I had wronged her. I do, however, think it is important to come to a place in my own heart where I can forgive them. Harboring unforgiveness is like a poison and I don’t want to go there! And if it’s just so hard that I can’t get there, then I confess that to God and ask Him to work on my heart, to soften it and to help me love that person and to see him or her as a child of God. God created that person in His image just as He created me and I can imagine that if I am this hurt and have this much disappointment, how much more must God have that His creation is doing such things. Which then leads me to wonder how He must see my actions and feelings at this time…and on it goes.

    He really does work miracles in my heart and mind when I allow him to! It’s a matter of not wrapping myself up in my hurt and anger, but instead sharing it with Him and allowing Him to soothe and heal which are His specialty. Easier said than done, but such peace when I do!

    Love you!

    • As usual, Samantha, you have such wonderful words of wisdom for me! I received a handful of thoughtful replies privately from some friends. It is so encouraging to hear from others! One friend kindly pointed out that the 7X70 is a Jewish idiom for “until the Messiah comes”. So, yeah, not a finite number as far as we know yet.

      The initial pain has faded and I am definitely in the disappointed stage now. I am still working on forgiveness and cannot imagine telling this person unless they asked.

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